Does Not Translate

Software language translators are getting better--but don't try them on a document requiring precision, subtlety or humor.

By Sean Silverthorne

September 30, 1996

In "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," by Douglas Adams, characters overcome language differences with the aid of Babel fish, cold-blooded aquatic vertebrates with a knack for nouns.

Today's software language translators beat sticking a cold fish in your ear--but they're not nearly as accurate. Reviewers complain that up to half of a message can be mistranslated in computer conversions. Even developers of the products warn that they're not to be used for translating technical, legal or documents or letters where presensitive missives full of precision, humor or subtlety.

Still, software language translation programs are getting better and better. Good enough so that the world-renowned Graduate School of Translation and Interpretation at the Monterey Institute will include them in the curriculum. Several new inexpensive ($50) Web page translators do a decent job of translating a page written in a foreign language.

Given their improving quality, we decided to put language translation software to the test. A fair test? Hell, no. We decided to see how the programs would translate all those subtle, culture-bound sentences that the developers warn you against using. In short, jokes.

First, we picked some bons mots off of several humor sites. Then we used the software to translate them into French, then back into English.

The result: It wasn't funny. At least one joke was improved by its encounter in the language Cuisinart, but most got lost in the translation.

What do we take away from all this? Translation software is a decent bargain for people who need to send short emails to foreign friends, or short, informal documents. And they're a good tool for human translators to begin their work.

But language translation software won't be replacing the Babel fish anytime soon.